art of spin not dead

It appears there was none of the much despised "self-censorship" - or editing of any kind? – being undertaken at the SCMP's new Causeway Bay offices yesterday as the stories came in for filing. Indeed, reading the title "Resources magnate mines China links in IPO plan" the editor likely assumed he had come across yet another innocuous story about some high net worth individual seeking to raise funds in Hong Kong - and nothing more.

But there is more venom to the story, published 24th November, than initially meets the eye. The reporter - who appears to have woken up on the wrong side of bed - sets the tone early on, stating that the interviewee, Clive Palmer, is accompanied by "two nervous public relations people…" She has another jab at the unfortunate "PRs" further down: "Throughout lunch, the public relations woman sitting next to me stares intently at my notepad to make sure I am writing the correct things down."

The reporter doesn't seem to have much time for Palmer himself either. A quote from a McKinsey report noting that some 240 million Chinese will relocate from rural areas to cities in the future is dismissed outright as "an often quoted statistic." Moreover, she seems uncomfortable with Palmer's estimated AUD 6 billion personal wealth, "In September, he bought his daughter a A$5 million yacht for her birthday. She had turned 15," she adds abruptly.

Even Mr Palmer's "beautiful second wife" appears to be fair game – after all she also attended the interview. "…he takes pains to point out that Anna, who could be taken for a Russian supermodel, will be corporate secretary at Resourcehouse [Palmer’s company]," she writes, admitting that he said it "rather sweetly."

To finish it all off, after alluding to an exercise class that Palmer (who's on the plump side) attended on the QE2, the SCMP's reporter says: "And with that, Palmer polishes off his dessert, drains his wine and goes off to meet some potential investors."

If only every SCMP interview were as colourful!

this star of hong kong

Gary Chan - despite his breast effort - is in need of help. Indeed, of Legco's 60 members, who would have expected that it would be its youngest that neglected the power of teh internets?

Some nefarious character, you see, has manipulated poor Gazza's wikipedia page. Rather than pointing to his laudable engagement of Hong Kong's apathetic youth, wiki’s subheadings highlight the "urine inspection" scandal, libel accusations, his "inadequate English" – and nothing more.

Not to point an accusatory finger, but it is rather curious to see Ulie's blog quoted as a source on said wikipedia page. Contributing to Gary's digital demise, Ulie points to a mistranslation from Chinese into English in the run up to the 2008 election.

I feel a modicum of pity for the Young DAB Star - not only is he Hong Kong's Baby of the House, but he also prematurely terminated a circa. HK$1,000,000 "special advisory" contract with the world's best paid civil servants to assume this position in Legco. While Gary is out fighting injustice, many Hong Kong men of similar age are still fighting their own addictions to World of Warcraft.

I wouldn't mind sprucing up Gary’s public image as his own special advisor - but as they say in Wan Chai "if you want the breast, you got to pay."

If I were to name a suspect behind this desperate act of wiki-vandlism, I might suggest ex-blogger Hemlock. A sort of online Banksy, Hemlock oft boasted about his various "improvements" to Nury Vittachi’s page - sadly not many seem to have survived!

reasons to like thailand

Abhisit Vejjajiva - Newcastle supporter!

the plot against hong kong

Yesterday I finished reading The Plot Against America, Philip Roth's sinister and imaginative novel – an alternative history in which Charles Lindberg beats FDR in the crucial 1940 Presidential election.

Lindbergh - who along with magnates Henry Ford, the Chairman of IBM, and the overseas CEO of General Motors (as well as legendary Great Gamer and Xinjiang explorer Sven Hedin) – was a winner of the Order of the German Eagle, and (in Roth's version of events) through close ties to Adolf Hitler proceeds to plunge Jewish America into state of "Perpetual Fear".

During a discussion over coffee, it was suggested by a very politically incorrect friend – a Hong Kong permanent resident - that it might be interesting the write The Plot Against Hong Kong. Like Roth's book, it would be a creative blend of fact and fiction (although is highly unlikely to be a bestseller):

It opens in 2003, and Basic Law Article 23 has just been ratified. A few practical and cosmetic changes take place: Hong Kong introduces driving on the right to better integrate with China. Certain outdated colonial architecture, such as the old Star Ferry pier, are demolished and replaced by new buildings. The Electoral Commission becomes entirely controlled by Beijing.

In an announcement in LegCo, Hong Kong's Chief Executive states: "I understand the people’s feelings about June 4, but the incident happened many years ago." The leader of a pro-Beijing party states: "How could people say bodies were minced under the tanks? Has anybody tried mincing meat under tanks?" A crackdown ensues in the press. Public arrests are made across the territory, exercised under Article 23.

In Victoria Park, the statue of Queen Victoria is replaced by that of Mao. Road names are gradually changed: Queen's Road becomes Beijing Avenue; King's Road becomes Shanghai Jie. A pro-Beijing party formally denies that Tiananmen was a massacre. English is removed as an official language. A high speed train links Hong Kong with the mainland - Hong Kong and Shenzhen become the same city.

Enough of that rubbish. It's time for Friday haiku.

now for something completely different

Tired of work, bad weather, routine – especially company expense forms and the like - along with the emotional strain of a "significant" birthday, I have been out of the office for several weeks. This explains the recent lack of blogging. Indeed, opting for a slightly different holiday, Mrs H and I have just returned from Uganda.

East Africa really is the polar opposite of Hong Kong. Instead of the neurotic service culture with which we are so accustomed, we were met with lackadaisical attitudes and enormous inefficiencies (when you fly to Kampala for instance, the plane lands in an entirely different city). A not entirely uncommon situation: "Sir, that rice and beans you ordered an hour and a half ago… I’m afraid we're out of rice… and beans."

Skyscrapers, concrete and bad traffic were temporarily substituted for savannah, rainforest, astounding wildlife… and even worse traffic. Bankers, lawyers, PR types, and other "stressy" people that infiltrate my enjoyment of life were replaced by NGO workers, the God Squad, teachers, and UN employees – making myself and Mrs H feel rather inadequate.

One similarity that I did notice, was the ability of Ugandans to eat pretty much anything. Whilst staying in Murchison Falls National Park, for example (which everyone should visit), we looked on as locals paddled out into the Nile – careful not to be caught by park rangers – and retrieved a bloated "ex-hippo" from its waters. They attached a rope, and towed the beast home for dinner.

patriotic pie

A raspberry and lemon tart spotted this public holiday.

biting from the hand and shooting at the foot

Unsatisfied with his David vs. Goliath battle against Hong Kong-listed corporations, local shareholder activist David Webb today turns his attention to China. In his email bulletin the former financier makes a scathing indictment of China’s track record, concluding that the country’s 60th anniversary provides “not a lot to celebrate really”:

“… China celebrates 60 years of one-party authoritarian rule; oppression of free speech, debate, freedom of assembly and political opposition; and state control of the media, judiciary and most of the economy. In the second 30 years the Government has tried to make up for the disastrous economic mismanagement of the first 30, but proceeding on the erroneous assumption that they can have all the benefits of free markets without the fundamental rights of a free society. Not a lot to celebrate really. What would the world look like if China had taken the path of civil liberties, capitalism and democratic government in 1949? That's something to ponder as the tanks roll symbolically through Tiananmen Square tomorrow, reminding us who is in charge.”

Beijing might consider this to be classic Western hypocrisy. Not only has Webb personally chosen to live in Hong Kong for close to 20 years, but he has also benefitted directly from China’s rise. He has amassed significant personal wealth from his career in investment banking, enabled early retirement at the grand age of 32 - and achieved high civil status in the process.

If Webb had done this without owning a single Chinese stock, perhaps this indictment might carry some weight - but could this really be the case?

A further puzzling aspect is why he should choose write this, blast emailing it around all of his contacts. From a PR perspective, Webb only risks alienating himself from the local population - many feel a sense of pride today - as well as losing credibility with decision-makers. In the end, doesn't this just make his activism goals even harder to achieve?

china’s 60th: how will you celebrate?

China's 60th birthday almost coincides with a significant personal milestone of my own - despite its "5,000 years of history", I will soon be half China’s official age.

If you were struggling for inspiration for how to celebrate China's landmark:

1. Order Hong Kong's most expensive dessert. Sun Hung Kai have unveiled a HK$ 60,000 croquembouche - complete with gold flakes and a diamond ring - as a tribute to the mainland.

2. Down a limited edition bottle of Moutai. It's bad at the best of times – but with a RMB 300,000 price tag, this guarantees to be even harder to swallow.

3. Hairy crabs. Someone north of the border has forked out HK$ 99,990 for a "golden hairy crab". Another pair apparently went for HK$ 1.25m.

And so as China gets one year older, her nouveau riche stubbornly refuse to mature.